Thursday, October 24, 2013

Girls vs. Boys - A War of Words


I often get good nuggets of insight into children (and humans in general) during the morning drive to school with my kids.  This morning’s lesson is on the differences between boys and girls. 

This easily translates to adults, as my husband can attest.

Me – What do you want to do this weekend?

Nash – Watch movies and go to the park!

Isla – Well, I want to watch movies too, but only the ones I want.  I want to watch three and I want to pick at least two of them.  Nash can pick one.  Harry doesn’t need to pick, he’s a baby. Well not a baby but he’s little.  Too little to pick.  I want to go to Taw’get too.  And I will be good and listen so I will get a toy.  It will be a little toy though because my birthday is coming up. I’m going to be 4, did you know?  Do you remember that time I had a party and all my friends came?  And there were going to be animals but they didn’t come. 

Nash – I was at that party.

Isla – Yes, you were.  And my friends.  ALL my friends.  This weekend is my weekend for Grand too.  And I’ll get Sweet Frog.  No, no I won’t.  I don’t do that anymore.  But maybe if Baby Milo wants to go I will.  <deep sigh> That’s what I want to do I guess.

Lesson – women speaking more words a day than men starts very, very young. 

Want to know exactly how MANY more words a day women speak?  Check this out.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

I Was There - James River Writers Conference

People, I did it!  I am no longer a writing conference virgin.  

I've been stalking the James River Writers Club page for a while looking at the schedule for their annual conference.  But, I didn't pull the trigger until late Friday night.  And I'm so glad I did, but not for the reasons you might think.

It was an amazing experience, hosted, presented and attended by wonderful writers of all levels (and some fly agents and editors as well).  I learned a ton - a few big lessons in particular - but not the things you might think.  

First, a disclaimer for context: my goal is to build a career as a fiction (MG/YA) author in the traditional publishing world.  All other writing/publishing is fantastic, but not my personal goal.

Also, since we're already sidetracked, this post was 90% GIFs the first time around.  And they were glorious.  But ... I decided to try and use words instead.  Because, writer.  Right?

Back on track - LESSONS!

I think the most profound was that no matter how many times I've heard it before, I never really internalized how integral to a published author's life knowledge is.  Not just the ability to write, but anything about everything.  Especially literature of the past, present and future.  This varies, of course, but I can't pretend I didn't feel just a little bit stupid.  I found myself constantly in awe of how much everyone I spoke with knew about everything.  

Dude, you people are brilliant!  Go you!  But I can't help but walk away feeling about as interesting as store-bought, vanilla cupcakes.  Do I have to take a massive step back in my writing career just to become interesting enough to belong?

I met people who have travelled the world, and started their own businesses, and lived in third-world countries.  

I can't tell you how many of the people I spoke with had taught (teach) english.  I can't even diagram a sentence (ask my critique partners).  

I talked to librarians, book store owners, full-time authors, and literary committee chairs.  And to all these people, here I am saying, "I read a few books a month and follow a bunch of people on Twitter."

But I want to be a writer.

Which leads to my second light-blub moment - people who do this successfully live writing 24/7.  And I don't mean they think about writing all the time, I mean they live for it.  They write full time or have jobs, like teaching, that align with writing in some way that helps them with their craft.  They give up things like movies and time with friends and clean houses, so that they can be authors.  

I don't have that.  I could.  Maybe ...

The thing is, I like my current job.  And I'm pretty darn good at it.  And that's saying something because while it isn't rocket science, it's not easy either.  And I like my co-workers.  And the job perks. And the pay ... that, especially.  Because I'm not going to lie - I have expensive tastes.

Kids.  Horses.  Dogs.  Labels (oh, the labels).  Organic produce.  Locally sourced meat.  Crafting.  Did I mention horses?  And, I like that I do all of these things now with virtually no budget.

People, that's hard to give up!

But I still really want to be a writer.

And so I consider giving it up.  But there is still the next big lesson I learned, which is - after you live writing 24/7 and devote almost everything to it, and are a super-smart-brilliant-interesting person it still takes years, if not decades, to publish anything.  And let's not pretend most debut authors get six-figure deals, because they don't.  So you're giving up a whole lot of a whole lot before you ever know if you'll succeed at any level.

Which brings me to the last lesson, and the most important.  The thing that I found profoundly present in the people I admired, but lack completely in myself, is confidence.

When people ask me if I'm a writer, I instinctively answer with, "I'm trying to be."  When I ask questions I preface them with, "I'm new to this but ..."

Why?

I was paid to write other people's papers in college (hush, I know) because I always got A's.  Always.  I had a couple research papers on symbolic interactionism and deviant identity crisis published in small journals.  It's not fiction, and it's not a major award (bonus points if you pictured a leg lamp) but I'm not chop meat.

Still, I can't say I'm a writer with confidence.  I let other people's brilliance make me feel dull.  And I'm intimidated by people who already know how to prevent the dreaded comma slice.  I don't even actually know what that is.  In fact, I bet I've done it a few times already  Because, commas.

Side note: I called it the James River Writing Conference in all social media for two days because I wasn't sure if it was writers or writer's or writers'. THIS.  This is my issue with grammar.

At the end of the day - or weekend - it's going to be the confidence that will have to come first.  This isn't a business where you can be told you'll be good before you give anything up.  If I want this, really want it, I'll have to find enough confidence in what I can be, to do what it takes to get there.

And that, people, is what I learned at the James River Writers Conference.

Ok, ok.  I also got a notebook full of terrific tips and tricks on writing and revising.  And I am TOTALLY going to post those too.  But I had to get the heavy out first.

Until next time, may the words be with you.