NaNo, Body Wash, Crayons and Twitter

It starts in the shower.  You’re standing there, sudsy, and it happens.  Light shines down from above, ethereal music plays all around you, and you realize …

I have an idea!

And it’s not just any idea it’s THE idea.  But, it is so undeveloped that if you blow too hard it will waft away into nothingness.  It is so perfect that you simply must memorialize it in some way, because without it you will never be a success.  Ever.

But you are standing – naked, wet, covered in Bath & Body Works Twilight Woods body wash (because, yum) – in the shower.  The idea is fading away and you’re clinging to it desperately hoping for a solution.

And then it happens again … you have an idea!

Bath crayons.  Your children have them so you know they exist.  If you just get yourself a snappy little set of bath crayons you could write down any ideas that pop up while you’re in the shower.  Sure, you might look like you’re a few crayons short of a box (see what I did there?).  But, when you have that perfect idea written down on the wall of the shower, not lost in the nebulous of forgotten ideas, it will be worth it.

This is the most brilliant idea ever!

And then you realize you lost the original idea.  The bright, shiny, most-perfect-ever idea … gone.  You claw the inside of your brain until it hurts but it’s no use.

Then you think - you need to put this on Twitter.  Surely someone else has gone through this and can wallow in pity with you. 

But then you wonder, how can you get this into 140 words?  Maybe it should be two tweets … but then you have to put those 1/2, 2/2 tags at the end.  When people do that, you never know which part of the tweet to re-tweet and/or favorite.  So you don’t.  And that kind of ruins it.

Then you think, you can just do a blog post.  That seems like overinvestment but – why not.  It was, after all, the best idea anyone ever had.  It deserves a blog post.

Then you realize the water is cold and you still haven’t washed your hair.

What … just me? 

Fine be that way.

Anyway … you might have noticed I’m procrastinating with my NaNo project.  Something like this was bound to happen. 

Back to the trenches. May the words be with you!

P.S. Go buy bath crayons and save yourself the trouble.  Trust me, they’ll be worth it next November.

To NaNo, or Not to NaNo - A NaNoWriMo Story

A few months back, when wandering around the Twitterverse, I came across an account with a funny name.  All my writerly heroes followed this account with the funny name.  I was intrigued.

Fast forward until today - I'm trying to write an entire freaking book in 31 days.

Too far forward?

NaNoWriMo is the name that intrigued me oh-so many months ago and it belongs to a fantastic organization - almost has good as a unicorn that farts rainbows.  Almost.  The blurb from their website is below, because there is no point in me trying to explain something they've perfected ...

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to creative writing. On November 1, participants begin working towards the goal of writing a 50,000-word novel by 11:59 p.m. on November 30. Valuing enthusiasm, determination, and a deadline, NaNoWriMo is for anyone who has ever thought fleetingly about writing a novel.

Learn more here.

Better now?

Ok, so I've taken on this ridiculously insane challenge (that you all should consider doing) and I figured what better way to procrastinate than to write about procrastinating.

So without further preamble, I introduce you to my first week of NaNoWriMo.

Day One: 

This is the best thing ever.  I am the best thing ever.  I am going to write a book.  It will be a good book.  It might be a publishable book!  ALL THE WORDS!

Day Two: 

I'm doing it.  I'm really doing it!  I've written words!  I've talked to other word writers on Twitter!  This may not be my finest work but it's good!

Day Three:

This is hard.  I mean really hard.  I am glad there are other people slogging through this with me.  This would be so hard without so many people to sprint with! This book is just a tool to teach me to write.  It's not going to amount to much, but that's ok.

Day Four:

This is about the process.  Just focus on the process.  Finish the sprint with as many words as you can.  Trust all the NaNo emails and keep going.  Why do you use 'really' and 'so' ... every.other.word.  My book is pure shit.

Day Five:

Fuck it.  Fuck it.  Fuck it.  I am going to go read something. *reads whole book*

Day Six:

WHY DID I READ!!  My head is full of another author's voice.  Another characters story.  WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU.  IDIOT! *sucks it up and cranks out words*

Day Seven:

BBBLLLAAAHHHHHH.  But you know, this story isn't so bad.  I'll write a little bit.  This book could be a book.  A real, whole book.  It's not so bad.  After all, 'really' and 'so' are good words.  People like them.  Tomorrow, I will do even better.  I love NaNo!

Goodness help my family ... there are 24 days left.

Total word count to date: 16,614.  BAM!

Thoughts, Tips and Tricks - JRW Conference 2013

And now, finally, a complete dump of the notes I took during the panels at the James River Writers Conference.  I spent a lot of time writing notes specific to my own novels, but below are some things that are universal.

Better late (and disorganized) than never.

Suspense Across Genres

• If you're a pantser, still know what the last scene in your novel will be.  This will keep you working in the right direction.
• Vary the pace and speed throughout the novel.  Add mini-cliffhangers, character building, and backstory during non-action scenes.
• Tell a minimum of two stories.  A character story and a world story are a good starting place.
• There should always be part of your story that happened in the past, and part that will happen in the future.
• Tropes are ok, it's good to start with one.  But make sure there is something unique to add depth and interest.
• Characters are easier to care about, when they care about something themselves.
• Every character should have a flaw.
• Build your world through your character's eyes to prevent the dreaded info-dump.
• Your characters have a past, remember to put that into scenes as a way to build characters, build world and create suspense.
• But, don't add so much backstory that you take the reader out of the current scene.

Writing for Children

• Make sure that your writing is honest to the voice of a child, not what you'd want to tell a child as an adult.
• Making teacher materials, even if you are self published, is a nice touch.
• Don't write to teach a lesson.  Kids will pick up on it immediately.
• Once your novel has been published it belongs to the readers, the children, and not you.

Misc

• Sid Field's 'How to Write a Screenplay' is a good tool for writers in all genres.
• The key to good editing, is distance.  Make sure to take time between when you write something and when you edit it.  The more time, the better. (for example - I edited this right away. sorry)
• Trust your reader when you're explaining things.  Don't over explain or beat them to death with explanation.  Readers are smart.
• Look up 'beats' and try and see them in your writing to keep forward momentum.

Girls vs. Boys - A War of Words

I often get good nuggets of insight into children (and humans in general) during the morning drive to school with my kids.  This morning’s lesson is on the differences between boys and girls. 

This easily translates to adults, as my husband can attest.

Me – What do you want to do this weekend?

Nash – Watch movies and go to the park!

Isla – Well, I want to watch movies too, but only the ones I want.  I want to watch three and I want to pick at least two of them.  Nash can pick one.  Harry doesn’t need to pick, he’s a baby. Well not a baby but he’s little.  Too little to pick.  I want to go to Taw’get too.  And I will be good and listen so I will get a toy.  It will be a little toy though because my birthday is coming up. I’m going to be 4, did you know?  Do you remember that time I had a party and all my friends came?  And there were going to be animals but they didn’t come. 

Nash – I was at that party.

Isla – Yes, you were.  And my friends.  ALL my friends.  This weekend is my weekend for Grand too.  And I’ll get Sweet Frog.  No, no I won’t.  I don’t do that anymore.  But maybe if Baby Milo wants to go I will.  <deep sigh> That’s what I want to do I guess.

Lesson – women speaking more words a day than men starts very, very young. 

Want to know exactly how MANY more words a day women speak?  Check this out.

I Was There - James River Writers Conference

People, I did it!  I am no longer a writing conference virgin.  

I've been stalking the James River Writers Club page for a while looking at the schedule for their annual conference.  But, I didn't pull the trigger until late Friday night.  And I'm so glad I did, but not for the reasons you might think.

It was an amazing experience, hosted, presented and attended by wonderful writers of all levels (and some fly agents and editors as well).  I learned a ton - a few big lessons in particular - but not the things you might think.  

First, a disclaimer for context: my goal is to build a career as a fiction (MG/YA) author in the traditional publishing world.  All other writing/publishing is fantastic, but not my personal goal.

Also, since we're already sidetracked, this post was 90% GIFs the first time around.  And they were glorious.  But ... I decided to try and use words instead.  Because, writer.  Right?

Back on track - LESSONS!

I think the most profound was that no matter how many times I've heard it before, I never really internalized how integral to a published author's life knowledge is.  Not just the ability to write, but anything about everything.  Especially literature of the past, present and future.  This varies, of course, but I can't pretend I didn't feel just a little bit stupid.  I found myself constantly in awe of how much everyone I spoke with knew about everything.  

Dude, you people are brilliant!  Go you!  But I can't help but walk away feeling about as interesting as store-bought, vanilla cupcakes.  Do I have to take a massive step back in my writing career just to become interesting enough to belong?

I met people who have travelled the world, and started their own businesses, and lived in third-world countries.  

I can't tell you how many of the people I spoke with had taught (teach) english.  I can't even diagram a sentence (ask my critique partners).  

I talked to librarians, book store owners, full-time authors, and literary committee chairs.  And to all these people, here I am saying, "I read a few books a month and follow a bunch of people on Twitter."

But I want to be a writer.

Which leads to my second light-blub moment - people who do this successfully live writing 24/7.  And I don't mean they think about writing all the time, I mean they live for it.  They write full time or have jobs, like teaching, that align with writing in some way that helps them with their craft.  They give up things like movies and time with friends and clean houses, so that they can be authors.  

I don't have that.  I could.  Maybe ...

The thing is, I like my current job.  And I'm pretty darn good at it.  And that's saying something because while it isn't rocket science, it's not easy either.  And I like my co-workers.  And the job perks. And the pay ... that, especially.  Because I'm not going to lie - I have expensive tastes.

Kids.  Horses.  Dogs.  Labels (oh, the labels).  Organic produce.  Locally sourced meat.  Crafting.  Did I mention horses?  And, I like that I do all of these things now with virtually no budget.

People, that's hard to give up!

But I still really want to be a writer.

And so I consider giving it up.  But there is still the next big lesson I learned, which is - after you live writing 24/7 and devote almost everything to it, and are a super-smart-brilliant-interesting person it still takes years, if not decades, to publish anything.  And let's not pretend most debut authors get six-figure deals, because they don't.  So you're giving up a whole lot of a whole lot before you ever know if you'll succeed at any level.

Which brings me to the last lesson, and the most important.  The thing that I found profoundly present in the people I admired, but lack completely in myself, is confidence.

When people ask me if I'm a writer, I instinctively answer with, "I'm trying to be."  When I ask questions I preface them with, "I'm new to this but ..."

Why?

I was paid to write other people's papers in college (hush, I know) because I always got A's.  Always.  I had a couple research papers on symbolic interactionism and deviant identity crisis published in small journals.  It's not fiction, and it's not a major award (bonus points if you pictured a leg lamp) but I'm not chop meat.

Still, I can't say I'm a writer with confidence.  I let other people's brilliance make me feel dull.  And I'm intimidated by people who already know how to prevent the dreaded comma slice.  I don't even actually know what that is.  In fact, I bet I've done it a few times already  Because, commas.

Side note: I called it the James River Writing Conference in all social media for two days because I wasn't sure if it was writers or writer's or writers'. THIS.  This is my issue with grammar.

At the end of the day - or weekend - it's going to be the confidence that will have to come first.  This isn't a business where you can be told you'll be good before you give anything up.  If I want this, really want it, I'll have to find enough confidence in what I can be, to do what it takes to get there.

And that, people, is what I learned at the James River Writers Conference.

Ok, ok.  I also got a notebook full of terrific tips and tricks on writing and revising.  And I am TOTALLY going to post those too.  But I had to get the heavy out first.

Until next time, may the words be with you.

The Cupboard Under the Stairs - Part 1

It happened innocently enough.  I was sitting on the floor, crafting.  In a flurry of conversation, quickly lost in the ensuing pandemonium, my husband said something like, "I'm just surprised you haven't done anything with the cupboard under the stairs."

Pause.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! HOW DID I NOT REALIZE BEFORE NOW - WE HAVE A CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS?

Because. We. Do. People.

And thus the newest project was born: The Harry Potter reading room, in a cupboard under our stairs.

dirty, yellow 'before'

Craft day was on a Friday.  The next day I had cleaned out the cupboard (who's contents are still sitting abandoned in our foyer) and bought ceiling paint.  The first thing I wanted to do was paint the ceiling to look like the sky.  Because Hogwarts Great Hall.  I had the idea to have the lower part of the wall be night and then as the ceiling sloped up have it turn into day.

The cupboard probably hadn't been painted since the house was built nearly 30 years ago, and it showed.  The entire thing was dingy yellow and the covered in scuffs and stains.

A confession: I've never actually painted a real ... painting.  So I was well into trying to do the background fading before I realized I had NO CLUE what I was doing.  I did it by gut.  I painted a light blue over the whole ceiling and then just scrubbed a brush of navy paint around for the night sky.  It wasn't very good.  I spent an hour on YouTube and tried again.  The second attempt was significantly better.

close up of lower 'night'

completed ceiling

I tried a technique to paint clouds my stepmother told me about ... but I wasn't competent enough for that.  Another hour on YouTube, and I started at the bottom and worked my way up.  The first attempts were ok, but the largest clouds in the center didn't turn out so hot.  I talked to my stepsister (an art goddess) and she gave me ideas that I used to touch up.  And ... well, that was it.  I painted the walls a light grey, and the trim ivory.  By Sunday night, I was finished.

There is a good chance that the Black family tree will eventually grace one of the walls ... but for now, it's good enough.

surprisingly perfect cast off

I also replaced the tan light switch with one I had removed from the front foyer when we renovated.  It was too traditional (and gaudy) for that room ...
 but was pretty much perfect for this.

Next time I will talk about the lighting and furniture!

Ceiling, walls, and trim finished

And Then - Craft Day

*disclaimer* Beer was involved in the writing of this post.

I am a craft nerd.  That is all.  Ok, it's totally not all.  

I love crafts.  All crafts.  But mostly those which allow me to celebrate: fandoms, family, books, 90's, or my childhood.     

Several times a year I meet with a fellow craft nerd, fangirl, and bookie extraordinaire, and WE CRAFT! (use battle cry voice for that last bit)

Craft 1 - Holiday Ornaments

Needed: glass/plastic ornament, something to stuff in it

These are super easy and (I think) a fantastic way to save and display otherwise tricky items.  You can get the glass or plastic ornaments at a hobby store (I love Hobby Lobby) for just a few dollars a piece.  The tops pop off, and they can be stuffed with just about anything.  Pinterest is your friend for ideas (this is a universal truth, actually).

The first is smaller and contains my wedding invitation and envelope.  I cut it into strips and curled the pieces using the flat side of a scissor blade.  Then I just shoved it in bit by bit, shake, done!  Eventually I'll add a ribbon for a hanger but I didn't get that far.  

I did find that the pieces that went in first stayed on the outside, so I wish I'd picked the prime pieces for that.  I also found that curling some pieces tighter than others looked better.

The larger is the one I'm most excited about, and was ridiculously easy.  It has the hospital hat of my youngest son, and the bracelets of each of my three kids.  I've kept these for years, too attached to get rid of them, but honestly - what can you do with a hospital bracelet? Problem solved!

Craft 2 - Harry Potter Book Monogram

Needed: used book pages, base to apply pages to (wooden or cardboard letters), spray paint,  elmers tacky craft glue,  scissors, toothpick or skewer.

First - SQUEE!!

I am so insanely happy with how this turned out.  Before anyone freaks out on me for destroying a book, let me explain.  I purchased this book from a bar in Seattle.  Yea ... bookstore bar.  You go in, you drink, you read, you buy.  All the books are $5.  I am not even kidding.  Anyway, I got off track ...

This was a (very) used library book with missing pages.  I had to buy it because Harry Potter.  But until now, I wasn't sure what to do with it.  This book made my monogram and my friend monogram AND there are pages left for a future craft.  I can think of no better afterlife for a mostly unreadable library book.

First I purchase a wooden letter from a hobby store.  Any material would work, but I wanted to paint it first and I though wood would work best.  It actually didn't turn out great because the rough edges weren't covered with the spray paint.  I would probably try cardboard if I was to do this again.

Using the width of the letter as a guide, I cut strips of paper.  I then used the skewer to roll the paper into a tight roll and secured with the glue.  Using the tacky glue really helped because I didn't have to hold the paper down for long before moving on to the next row.

I discovered quickly how to end the roll on a word I liked, so each row has a special word (or two) included.  After you get the hang of it, it goes really quickly.

Then I just added a ribbon, hot glued on the back, and added a burlap flower because, pretty.

Voila!  Amazeballs, right?!


Craft 3 - Tie-dye Shirts

Ok yeah, so maybe I was sheltered as a kid but I NEVER DID THIS!  It's insanely fun, easy and ... come on!  I will say, I underestimated the mess though.  Next time I might lay out more towels.

I won't explain these.  I just followed the package instructions.  Not exactly art, but SO fun.  So - do it.

 That's all folks.  Next time I talk about my Harry Potter Reading Room ... because that's a real thing.  And it's happening ...

Back to School Writing Challenge - Week 3 (ish)

You guys!  I totally missed last week's post and no one told me!

In my defense, it was because I was planning for one of my favorite days of the year: Harry Potter Craft Day. Twice a year my best book-geek friend and I gather to watch Harry Potter movies and do sundry crafts. It is glorious. 

But on to this week's challenge ...

Write a story, in 50 words or less, about the seasons of the year, without mentioning any seasons by name. 

Have fun!

If Slaughterhouses Had Glass Walls

“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” ― Paul McCartney

For those of you who know me this will come as little surprise – I’m a bit of a tree hugger.   Not in the super fantastic way, where I drive positive change in others and help improve our culture’s carbon footprint.  And not in the terribly scary way where I use leaves as toilet paper and collect my own drinking water.  But, in the middle of the road way, where I buy ‘green’ when its convenient, and sometimes when it isn’t, and I feel guilty when I choose to do something selfish and wasteful.

It’s a rough life (no but, actually, really).

I won’t get into all the details, but the point of pointing that out, is that I do truly and honestly care about the world.  I think as humans, we are largely bastards who are driving Mother Earth to an early grave.  There will probably be a future post on the reasons I love dystopian books, related to that.  But I digress.

So point one – I am a tree hugger.

I am also fat.  No, really … I am.  I’m fat.  I never was heavy growing up, in fact I was on the smaller side.  And then I got married and had kids (wait – don’t say it, I’ll get there) and I let their eating become my own. 

Saying I’m fat so openly makes people very uncomfortable, and I’m not sure why.  I am what I am, and while I don’t love it, I’m perfectly ok accepting that it’s a result of choices I’ve made.  And so, I’m fat.  And I don’t need you to say anything to the contrary, or try and make me feel better about it.  But again, I digress.

Let’s take a minute and go back (way back) in time - when I was single I was largely vegetarian, even vegan to some extent.  Although never religiously, because - eating out.  I ate a lot of raw foods, and did (still do) believe in most of the vegan tenants on eating for a healthy body and a healthy world.

Then I met my wonderful husband.  Who is accepting, and supportive, and pretty handy at fixing things (me included).  Also, he exists on meat and potatoes. 

Some time later, we had three beautiful babes.  And my kidlets, who go to daycare, got a taste of chicken nuggets and pizza and cookies early in their lives.  And once they knew those things existed, there was no stopping all those little-people-food-feels.

So now we are in the present: I work; try and be a decent wife and mother; take care of a small farm with various animals; try and write when I can; try and ride my horse when I can.  My time is … let’s say limited.  So I got lazy.  I ate junk (I’m talking McDonalds, people) a lot.  And I drank beer a lot, because – kids.  And BEER.

So point two - now I’m fat.

Over the last few months I’ve been reading, and rereading, some fantastic books on food.  I’m not talking about diet books, but books on where our food comes from.

The most recent book I read was Skinny Bitch.  I swear, the book was written specifically for me.  Vegan teaching with a dash of vulgarity, and loads of sarcasm?  Yes please!

And I am reinvigorated!  I realize now that so much of the shame I have carried because of my increasing size, isn’t about being large at all.  It’s about the things I am eating to get there.  Some of the most popular foods are destructive to our bodies and our world, it is sickening.  And that’s exactly what I was – sick.

So, I jumped back on the proverbial wagon.  It hasn’t been easy.  All the naughty foods are hard to resist, for very designed reasons.  But they can be resisted, and we’d all be better for it. 

I am trying (going to!) restrict the following things: meat, dairy, refines sugar, white flour, caffeine, alcohol (except organic red wine).  At least as much as I can – which sould be nearly all the time.

Why am I blogging about this?  Because I think if I put it out there I’ll be more likely to stick to it.  And I WANT to stick to it!  And I want to hear your stories!  I want to support other people going through this, and I want support myself.  Because this is HARD, people.  Walking past restaurants with their tantalizing smells sucks.  Going to Happy Hour after a long week and not getting a beer is agonizing.  And I want the food, ALL THE FOOD.  But in the end, it isn’t worth it.

So there is it.  I am a tree hugger.  I am fat.  And I am jumping back on the vegan wagon.  Hopefully I only fall off a few times.

Fantastic books I have read and highly recommend for anyone who eats food:

Skinny Bitch (Freedman, Barnouin) - http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/196613.Skinny_Bitch?from_search=true

The China Study (Campbell) - http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/178788.The_China_Study?from_search=true

The Food Revolution (Robbins) - http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/64087.The_Food_Revolution?from_search=true

What to Eat (Nestle) - http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/268963.What_to_Eat?ac=1

And anything (everything) by Michael Pollan - http://www.goodreads.com/search?utf8=✓&q=michael+pollan&search_type=books&search%5Bfield%5D=author