If Slaughterhouses Had Glass Walls

“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” ― Paul McCartney

For those of you who know me this will come as little surprise – I’m a bit of a tree hugger.   Not in the super fantastic way, where I drive positive change in others and help improve our culture’s carbon footprint.  And not in the terribly scary way where I use leaves as toilet paper and collect my own drinking water.  But, in the middle of the road way, where I buy ‘green’ when its convenient, and sometimes when it isn’t, and I feel guilty when I choose to do something selfish and wasteful.

It’s a rough life (no but, actually, really).

I won’t get into all the details, but the point of pointing that out, is that I do truly and honestly care about the world.  I think as humans, we are largely bastards who are driving Mother Earth to an early grave.  There will probably be a future post on the reasons I love dystopian books, related to that.  But I digress.

So point one – I am a tree hugger.

I am also fat.  No, really … I am.  I’m fat.  I never was heavy growing up, in fact I was on the smaller side.  And then I got married and had kids (wait – don’t say it, I’ll get there) and I let their eating become my own. 

Saying I’m fat so openly makes people very uncomfortable, and I’m not sure why.  I am what I am, and while I don’t love it, I’m perfectly ok accepting that it’s a result of choices I’ve made.  And so, I’m fat.  And I don’t need you to say anything to the contrary, or try and make me feel better about it.  But again, I digress.

Let’s take a minute and go back (way back) in time - when I was single I was largely vegetarian, even vegan to some extent.  Although never religiously, because - eating out.  I ate a lot of raw foods, and did (still do) believe in most of the vegan tenants on eating for a healthy body and a healthy world.

Then I met my wonderful husband.  Who is accepting, and supportive, and pretty handy at fixing things (me included).  Also, he exists on meat and potatoes. 

Some time later, we had three beautiful babes.  And my kidlets, who go to daycare, got a taste of chicken nuggets and pizza and cookies early in their lives.  And once they knew those things existed, there was no stopping all those little-people-food-feels.

So now we are in the present: I work; try and be a decent wife and mother; take care of a small farm with various animals; try and write when I can; try and ride my horse when I can.  My time is … let’s say limited.  So I got lazy.  I ate junk (I’m talking McDonalds, people) a lot.  And I drank beer a lot, because – kids.  And BEER.

So point two - now I’m fat.

Over the last few months I’ve been reading, and rereading, some fantastic books on food.  I’m not talking about diet books, but books on where our food comes from.

The most recent book I read was Skinny Bitch.  I swear, the book was written specifically for me.  Vegan teaching with a dash of vulgarity, and loads of sarcasm?  Yes please!

And I am reinvigorated!  I realize now that so much of the shame I have carried because of my increasing size, isn’t about being large at all.  It’s about the things I am eating to get there.  Some of the most popular foods are destructive to our bodies and our world, it is sickening.  And that’s exactly what I was – sick.

So, I jumped back on the proverbial wagon.  It hasn’t been easy.  All the naughty foods are hard to resist, for very designed reasons.  But they can be resisted, and we’d all be better for it. 

I am trying (going to!) restrict the following things: meat, dairy, refines sugar, white flour, caffeine, alcohol (except organic red wine).  At least as much as I can – which sould be nearly all the time.

Why am I blogging about this?  Because I think if I put it out there I’ll be more likely to stick to it.  And I WANT to stick to it!  And I want to hear your stories!  I want to support other people going through this, and I want support myself.  Because this is HARD, people.  Walking past restaurants with their tantalizing smells sucks.  Going to Happy Hour after a long week and not getting a beer is agonizing.  And I want the food, ALL THE FOOD.  But in the end, it isn’t worth it.

So there is it.  I am a tree hugger.  I am fat.  And I am jumping back on the vegan wagon.  Hopefully I only fall off a few times.

Fantastic books I have read and highly recommend for anyone who eats food:

Skinny Bitch (Freedman, Barnouin) - http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/196613.Skinny_Bitch?from_search=true

The China Study (Campbell) - http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/178788.The_China_Study?from_search=true

The Food Revolution (Robbins) - http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/64087.The_Food_Revolution?from_search=true

What to Eat (Nestle) - http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/268963.What_to_Eat?ac=1

And anything (everything) by Michael Pollan - http://www.goodreads.com/search?utf8=✓&q=michael+pollan&search_type=books&search%5Bfield%5D=author